Boy with a coin.

I lost the battery cover to my mp3 player about three or four days ago and just yesterday I was walking back home from my class, and happened to look down and see it in the grass. At first I didn't really think much about it, but I've been having some interesting things happen to me lately. I also founds my missing hoodie just today, which had been missing for a week... it was in my backpack.

I'm in one of those sort of lower points. It's not that everything isn't going right for me, because I have many blessings to count, but there are some things that are not going as I would want them to go. Dissapointments that I have felt before, but for some reason have the hardest time learning from or discovering how to remedy. Relationship issues, restlessness for the state of the world, that sort of thing-- but then again that's just me being me I suppose... but just recently, I was thinking about the mp3 battery cover that I found that had been missing for days, and the hoodie, and realized that both of these things were in plain sight, but I never saw them because I was so concerned with other things... but the ironic thing was that I was looking for both of them. I came to the conclusion that God was trying to tell me something. Maybe the things that we believe to be lost aren't lost at all, perhaps they have just yet to be revealed.

Introspect: Choice

"No one is all good. And no one is all bad." This is one of the many principles by which I live my life. It means that at one point we were all innocent, and started off with good intentions. It means that we all have a choice. It means that at our cores, we have the potential for such great good that it could turn the tides of history itself. Everyone has the ability to shape the future, and the power to change the world. This is the truth about humanity.

All of my life, all that I have heard from everyone that I have talked to about the subject, has said, that by nature, humanity is evil. That every human being is just a wild animal caged by societal norms. I don't see it that way. I see the hatred and the atrocities that human beings are capable of showing and inflicting upon one another. I'm not blind. But I see something that most people don't see. I see what some are, and what we all have the potential to be. I see that at our cores, we are all, initially, good, and have a great potential for it. Some just choose not to.

"Why, Mr. Anderson? Why, why, why? Why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something, for more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is, do you even know? Is it freedom, or truth, perhaps peace, could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without any meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself. Although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it Mr. Anderson, you must know it by now. You can't win, it's pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why do you persist?" -Agent Smith

"Because I choose to." -Neo
Choice is an interesting concept. We choose to ask questions in order to get answers. But the million dollar question is why are we here? What is our purpose. No matter what your beliefs are, everyone has asked that question. Some silently, some frantically. But perhaps in order to answer the greatest question, we must ask ourselves why we asked it. The answer to the question is, at it's core, a question. The answer is because we choose to. The answer is choice. The reason why we exist, is to make choices. Every time you make a choice, something is changed, big or small. That is the way that we manipulate our environments. That is how we write our history. That is how we change the world. So in order to manipulate our own futures, we must first realize our purpose and learn from our mistakes and reflect our valiance. At the surface of our selves , we are all in some way, biased. But that is okay, it is a product of choice. We all choose to feel the way that we feel. However, the thing that will save the world and make the human condition do a complete 180, is making the choice to care. People may ask why, but the truth is that the answer is right right in front of them.

This may sound wierd to the people that don't quite understand me or the things that I do or say, but I care about everyone. Even the people that are reading this blog right now. I care about you and your wellbeing. When I've said that, I've heard people say "there's nothing in it for you, you may care, but there are people who don't care about you", well there doesn't have to be anything in it for me. Because it's not about me. People say "how can you care about everyone? You don't know everyone."; well I don't have to know everyone to want them to have a better quality of life. You don't have to know someone to care about them. Most say that people are fickle, and that they'll turn on you at the very moment that it becomes conveinient. And believe me. I know from experience, that is true. So if people are so fickle, and often make the wrong choices, how do you save a world full of them? Why? Well I know why I'm here, but I don't know the full answer to the first question. Yet. But just because I don't know the answer to a question, doesn't mean that there isn't one or that it won't be found. With that said, I do however, know the answer to the second one. I will try because that is who I am, and if I don't then who will? But also because I choose to.

No one is all good, because we have all made bad choices, and no one is all bad, because we were all initially born good. We continue to exist to choose, and we continue to choose in order to exist. We all have a choice. This is both our greatest gift and most deadly weakness. Within each of us is the ability to write the future for better or for worse. So care enough to choose correctly, and most importantly, choose to care.

What are your opinions on choice?

Introspect: Connection

I've come to a realization. I've come to realize that life is just a series of connections.

Life is a lot of things. It's disappointing, it's uplifting, it's bad, it's good; it's full of triumphs, failures, endings and beginnings. The list continues, and doesn't really end. We go through so many disappointments in our short lives, and in those disappointments we curse and we thrash and we fight, but it doesn't really change anything. It's like fighting the current when you're out to sea. It may seem strange but it's the truth that feeling pain in life isn't as bad as feeling nothing at all; because these very things that we hate-- the negative points in our lives, the times when we think we just want to not feel anything at all, these are the things that make it clear that the fact is that these are the very things that bring us together. Through the struggles in life we find empathy. Through empathy we find the strength to help those who are having trouble helping themselves. Those who were once in the same place that we were. It's a necessary cycle at this point, falling so that we can bring those up with us who have fallen when we rise.

If you look at your life from where you are now. If you look at all of the choices that you've made, you'll see a pattern. You'll see that certain choices that you've made have not only affected you but also those around you. The reason for this is because every action that we make is connected to everything as a whole in some way. No mater how small or large. I said earlier that life is a lot of things, I said it because we are all connected, and because of this, the choices that we make ultimately intertwine all of our lives together. Making them complex. Our lives are complex because we are complex at our cores, but simple in our decisions.

Just a slightly introspective thought I guess. Have you ever experienced a moment where everything made sense? That's kind of how I felt..