Thursday, December 30, 2010

We are not the sum of our experiences

We are not the sum of our experiences, we are the sum of what we choose to be.

It has occurred to me that I've been looking at things in completely the wrong way. We assume that wisdom comes from experiencing the good and the bad and triumphs and the failures that we experience in life, and that somehow that brings enlightenment... but how can that be true when all of the people who I have come across that have claimed wisdom and enlightenment and have had the most and sometimes the worst experiences are never truly as happy as the "enlightened" should be?

Let's raise a purely hypothetical question. What if society is lying to you? What if all of this business about purposefully making mistakes and putting yourself in situations that you know are not good for you and drinking, smoking and partying your life away were not in fact a fundamental part of the learning experience that we associate with life? What if those that perpetuate these trends were just doing so because they themselves were already in so deep that they didn't really want to be the only ones? After all, misery does love company doesn't it?

Now that the hypothetical part is over and done with, why not ask a question directly pertaining to you. That's right, you, the person who's reading this. The one who probably found this on stumbleupon and decided to skim, right? Well, hey, when were you last actually happy? Yesterday? The day before that?

I'm done with the questions, so now on to the statements. For a while, I was into the party scene. Mostly when I was at Western Kentucky University, but these days it seems that everywhere is a party scene regardless of where you are. There is nothing wrong with having fun, and when I say that, I mean what I say--but are you really having fun? Are you really happy? It seems to me that people use drugs and alcohol as an escape--as a tool for fast action enlightenment, and as a medicine to psychologically and socially heal themselves. It's odd though, that prescriptions are called drugs and the substance used to clean a wound is called alcohol, but the fact is that if you pour whiskey on the wound, the wound is still a wound, and if you take drugs to alter reality, reality stays the same and your perceptions change for only a fleeting moment. It seems like this is a very popular medicine, but are you happy, or are you convincing yourself that you are? If in fact this fills you, then why do you feel empty enough to go back for more?

My point is this: I am Truman. I am my own person and I make my own choices. I have that right and it will remain my own long after the concept loses it's value in the face of all that remains. That is the only thing that I can take with me no matter where I go; but if I am to be empty, if I am to be lonely, if I am to be troubled, then I will be all of these things on my own terms, not society's or my friends'. Just my own. So if I am expected to act or react in a certain way in a feeble attempt to impress or cater to those around me, then I'll do the right thing regardless of what that implies, because I make my own choices and walk my own path, and maybe you should too. If you choose to.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I'm Done Wandering.

It's funny how life is so much like a puzzle. I once heard from my best friend something that she heard from her best friend. She said that sometimes, you have to move backwards in order to move forward. My best friend said that sometimes life is like a destination that has many paths to one point--that sometimes we miss our turns and end up having to travel the road again. All of these things are true of me right now. I need revelation. More importantly, I need to find myself again.

It used to be that I honestly didn't care what anyone thought. I didn't care what anyone thought of me or the things that I did. My principles were my own and my actions were my own. However, something horrible changed. It wasn't one thing that changed, it was a culmination of things-- instead of holding fiercely to the principles of which I was made, I chose to let people and their opinions into my way of thinking. I became too accepting. To the point in which I allowed myself to join the rest of the world. I know I sound like a hermit saying all of these things, I may sound peculiar and odd as well, but the fact is that that is why I am writing this note. Because I do not care about the opinions of others. That is the very action that put me in this situation. I feel a burden on my heart to tell everyone not to care about what anyone thinks of you and regardless of how much you are mocked or jested at, stay true to your principles and never change. If you know right from wrong, let it be known and practice it. If you see your friend is about to fall, catch them, but if they try to pull you down, then let them go. We are living in a time of great revelations, discoveries and wonders the likes of which I can scarcely share with you, and in this time of rapid change, none of us can afford to lose the things of which we are composed. If we lose our principles, then we lose ourselves.

I said previously that sometimes we have to move backward in order to move forward, and what I meant was that if we don't travel the life roads correctly, sometimes we need to retrace our steps. That we sometimes need to look at not just the points in which we were our strongest, but also the point in which we were not, and compare the two and see what was done right and vice-versa. I feel as if I am making myself new. I will be a good listener, but not permissive of every opinion thrown my way. I will be kind, but by no means a permissive. I will be a fighter, but not an instigator. I will be passionate, but not full of rage. I will be convicted, but not blind.

I once thought that all who wander were not lost, but now I know that I was wandering and lost, but now I'm retracing my steps and the way is becoming clearer, and if I keep on the path, then the path to my purpose will be made known. Perhaps you should do the same.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

What do I want?

The question was asked of me on a site "Would you prefer to find someone who will shake your life up or make it more peaceful?..." and it occurred to me that the question is more complicated than I thought. It seems simple-- peace or turbulence, right? I want peace, but I also want interest, and I think that most people are like this. I just be being egocentric, but is it true? Do none of us truly know what we want? I want a girl that I can feel at peace with, but also fight the good fight with. Does that seem odd? How about you?