Thursday, July 8, 2010

I'm Done Wandering.

It's funny how life is so much like a puzzle. I once heard from my best friend something that she heard from her best friend. She said that sometimes, you have to move backwards in order to move forward. My best friend said that sometimes life is like a destination that has many paths to one point--that sometimes we miss our turns and end up having to travel the road again. All of these things are true of me right now. I need revelation. More importantly, I need to find myself again.

It used to be that I honestly didn't care what anyone thought. I didn't care what anyone thought of me or the things that I did. My principles were my own and my actions were my own. However, something horrible changed. It wasn't one thing that changed, it was a culmination of things-- instead of holding fiercely to the principles of which I was made, I chose to let people and their opinions into my way of thinking. I became too accepting. To the point in which I allowed myself to join the rest of the world. I know I sound like a hermit saying all of these things, I may sound peculiar and odd as well, but the fact is that that is why I am writing this note. Because I do not care about the opinions of others. That is the very action that put me in this situation. I feel a burden on my heart to tell everyone not to care about what anyone thinks of you and regardless of how much you are mocked or jested at, stay true to your principles and never change. If you know right from wrong, let it be known and practice it. If you see your friend is about to fall, catch them, but if they try to pull you down, then let them go. We are living in a time of great revelations, discoveries and wonders the likes of which I can scarcely share with you, and in this time of rapid change, none of us can afford to lose the things of which we are composed. If we lose our principles, then we lose ourselves.

I said previously that sometimes we have to move backward in order to move forward, and what I meant was that if we don't travel the life roads correctly, sometimes we need to retrace our steps. That we sometimes need to look at not just the points in which we were our strongest, but also the point in which we were not, and compare the two and see what was done right and vice-versa. I feel as if I am making myself new. I will be a good listener, but not permissive of every opinion thrown my way. I will be kind, but by no means a permissive. I will be a fighter, but not an instigator. I will be passionate, but not full of rage. I will be convicted, but not blind.

I once thought that all who wander were not lost, but now I know that I was wandering and lost, but now I'm retracing my steps and the way is becoming clearer, and if I keep on the path, then the path to my purpose will be made known. Perhaps you should do the same.

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